


Playing Favorites

by EmmyIsABox (aggressivelysketching)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M, I tried writing angst I guess, Minerva is a mom, Poor Minnie McG, sadness I suppose?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-25
Updated: 2018-06-25
Packaged: 2019-05-28 05:08:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,084
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15041414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aggressivelysketching/pseuds/EmmyIsABox
Summary: Even though she would never admit it, the death of some of her favorite students affected her more than she would like to admit. A look into what Minerva McGonagall felt after the death of Lily, James, and Peter.(Yes, I know Peter doesn't actually die, but everyone thought he was dead until 1993.)(Also there's one OC in there, but she doesn't affect much.)





	Playing Favorites

**Author's Note:**

> So, my first story on here! I wrote this around May 1st. Re-watching the Harry Potter movies, I noticed that Minerva was indeed the Marauder's teacher, and must've had some sort of personal connection to them. Reading fics about Minerva as sort of a mother figure for them really made me think about what she would've experienced as she heard of their deaths. My OC, Chloe Black, is included in this simply because I can't help myself! Hope you enjoy.
> 
> -Em

“Say, Minnie, I was your favourite, wasn’t I?”

Minerva McGonagall raised a single eyebrow, looking across the table. Sirius Black looked right back at her, his signature smirk on his face. The professor could see the woman next to him, Chloe, rolling her eyes. 

“I’m very careful not to have any favorites, Mister Black. And I would appreciate not to be called ‘Minnie’.” She scoffed slightly at the nickname, but couldn’t help the slight smile that made its way onto her lips.

“Told you.” The woman punched Sirius’s shoulder. He stuck his tongue out at her, then returned his focus to his old professor.

“But are you sure? You must’ve felt something towards someone at some point.” Sirius persisted, wiggling his eyebrows. The rest of the room now paid close attention to the conversation. James and Lily grinned as they watched the whole scene, baby Harry sleeping in Lily’s arms. Remus held a cup of tea tightly in his hand, slightly anxious to see how she would reply. Peter watched very nervously as he twitched, unsure if the professor would be strict or lenient with Sirius. Dumbledore was somewhere in the house as well- off to the loo, he claimed.

“I am absolutely sure. I pick no favorites” Minerva replied sternly. Her tone left no room for argument- it was one Sirius was very familiar with. He nodded, slightly disheartened.

Chloe smiled lightly at him. “Told you.” She repeated. Lightly, she squeezed his hand under the table. He playfully narrowed his eyes at her.

“Business taken care of. Shall we go?”

Dumbledore stood in the doorway. He smiled at the scene. Minerva stood up, brushing off her emerald robes and surveying the room before heading to Dumbledore’s side.

“We’ll see you all soon, I hope.” Dumbledore quipped. James nodded, stepping up to reply to the Headmaster.

“Of course. It’s Sirius’s birthday soon enough, isn’t it?” James grinned widely at his best friend. Dumbledore chuckled and nodded. 

There was happiness here. No Voldemort, no curses, no threats, no deaths. Just peace and love and joy. They all loved it and relished in it.

Just before the two professors prepared to Apparate, Minerva peeked her head into the kitchen. 

“By the way, Mister Black. If I had to pick favorites, I would be stuck between Mister Lupin over there and Miss Summers-well, Mrs. Black.” Chloe turned a light shade of pink, and Remus seemed to swell just a bit with pride. Sirius’s jaw dropped.

The last thing that Minerva and Albus heard as they left was laughter, and the sound of little Harry cooing as he awoke.

These were the moments Minerva McGonagall thought of when she lay awake at night, only two weeks later. November fifth, 1980. 

James and Lily Potter are dead. Their boy is left an orphan- left with Muggles.

Peter Pettigrew is dead. Just a single finger left of him.

Remus Lupin is gone. Disappeared off the map, in the north.

Sirius Black is a traitor, now imprisoned in Azkaban.

Chloe Black is broken. Hiding herself away from the world as she tries to pick up her pieces.

But Minerva can’t do any of this. She has a school to run, lessons to teach, papers to grade, letters to answer, punishments to dish out.

She cannot mourn the loss of what she thought to be her closest students-her friends, even. She cannot stop and cry for just a moment. Just a single moment. She cannot lay in her bed and curl up into a ball, wondering how it all went wrong. She will not allow herself to think about what might’ve been, what the future held for those inspiring, young students of hers.

So she will keep going. Keep being the strict Professor McGonagall she’s always been. She can’t allow herself to be weak, can’t have her own time to grieve, can't dwell on those happy memories of warm fires and teasing discussions. 

No matter how much she wants to turn back time and go back to those places- to those hot chocolates she shared with Lily and Chloe. To those books she discussed thoroughly with Remus. To the times she reprimanded Peter lightly when he was just a schoolboy, then gave him treats and (sometimes) a hug. To all those Quidditch matches she talked about with James and Sirius, and their lively faces while they reenacted the movements they’d done.

Only a few times she lets herself slip. With Albus once, as they dropped Harry off. By herself twice, sitting in front of a fire and laying in bed.

She’d cried by their graves once.

Visiting the dead was not something Minerva often did. Not even with her own parents. But the Potters deserved… something. She’d brought lilies- it was the logical decision. And she’d cried.

But she is still Professor McGonagall. And she will wait for the day that little Potter arrives at this school. She will wait until he’s old enough so that she can take him under her wing and protect him. Protect him. For James and for Lily.

For Sirius? She’s torn. Merlin, she adored the boy, but...what had he done? Betrayed his own friends? So she told herself she’d do more for his wife- additional to helping in any way she could once the woman returned. For Chloe, she keeps a jar of biscuits in her desk, and refills it weekly. (She’s also developed a taste for hot chocolate or sweetened tea- she also tells herself that is for Chloe and Lily)

Whenever she took second helpings of food, she reminded herself of Peter. Granted, she did feel a little bad, and it wasn’t often, but it always brought a smile to her face. She remembered watching from the High Table as he gorged on puddings and pumpkin pie, lamb and mashed potatoes. For Peter.

And of course, for Remus, she never stops reading and keeps track of what books she reads at what times. He would like it, she thought. It was rather organized. She laughs to herself, she smiles, she cries, and (rarely) she gets ever-so-slightly giddy with excitement for the next part of the story. Whenever he returned, she’d be sure to show him all that she had cataloged. 

Minerva McGonagall swore to herself never to forget the six students that changed her life. Even with three dead, one imprisoned, and two shutting themselves out of the rest of the world, she felt them alive with her every day. For the Marauders.


End file.
